SEC Roll Call has séance that pokes fun at Razorbacks’ rough year

Matt Mitchell held a séance this week, and the Arkansas Razorbacks were on the guest list. That rarely ends well for them.

In the latest SEC Roll Call, the league’s teams gathered around candles to call up the spirit of a “dear departed commissioner.”

The goal was to find out which team has been blowing up the College Football Playoff race.

It wasn’t Arkansas. The Hogs still caught a few jabs along the way.

Given how this season has gone in Fayetteville, nobody should be stunned.

Mississippi State, Texas, LSU and Ole Miss all took their lumps as well. The Razorbacks’ turn just came early.

The little piggy doesn’t get much respect

A rival didn’t let Arkansas get many words in. “Quiet, little piggy.”

The Hogs tried to plead their case. “Oh, come on. I’m harmless.”

At least one team in the room remembered it a little differently.

It said Arkansas almost got it, then admitted it turned the ball over three times in that game.

Three turnovers, and the Razorbacks still couldn’t cash in.

If that sounds familiar, you’ve probably watched a lot of Arkansas football lately.

The bit wasn’t finished with that game, either.

About that punt

According to the skit, Arkansas punted while trailing by 11 with four minutes left.

Nobody jumped up to argue the point.

The Razorbacks sure didn’t.

“See, I’m not a threat to anybody except my own fan base.”

That one’s going to sting a little in the Natural State. It’s hard to call it wrong, though.

One of the other teams did say Arkansas scared the heck out of them, so the Hogs can hang onto that.

The rest of the league catches it, too

Mississippi State got its moment for beating South Carolina, cowbell and all. “Fear the bell, baby.”

That didn’t last long. Somebody pointed out the Bulldogs aren’t nearly as scary without Kamario.

Texas heard about its back-to-back losses to the Gators. Another team bragged it beat the Longhorns and Arch Manning mostly by keeping its own quarterback from throwing.

LSU’s name popped up when one team said it had been thinking about that game “very aggressively” since Saturday.

Ole Miss got blamed for hiding under the white sheet. The Rebels had been sitting right there the whole time.

There was a Nick Saban joke tucked in, as well. When the light came back on, somebody figured the ghost must use Ryobi, like Saban does in his Home Depot commercial.

Meet the lord of chaos

Eventually the real troublemaker stepped out, and it was pretty proud of itself.

“I am the lord of chaos, the architect of anarchy, the crusher of playoff dreams,” he said, but that was Missouri and they weren’t the real one.

The skit pegged it as the team that beat a top-10 opponent and then choked two weeks later.

It also made clear it isn’t done yet.

“Man, what a mess,” the character playing the ghost actually showed up. “And I’ve still got five more weeks to make it so much worse.”

So Arkansas dodged the villain label this week. With Missouri coming to Fayetteville, though, the challenge will be to actually get a win at home.

The schedule shows that’s going to be even harder going forward with only LSU at the end of the year coming to Razorback Stadium.

With plenty of football still left in November, Hogs fans have learned not to count on much past Saturday.

And not get hopes too high, but a lot of fans don’t pay attention to that last part.