SEC Shorts top 10 chaos leaves Arkansas off the hospital chart

The Arkansas Razorbacks went to Vanderbilt this past weekend and came home with a win.

SEC Shorts didn’t care.

The latest SEC Shorts video skipped the Hogs entirely. The crew behind the weekly sketch had bigger messes to clean up.

Five of the top seven teams in the country lost on the same day. That’s a lot of patients for one hospital.

The sketch opens at “General Hospital” with a voice on the intercom. “Mass casualty protocol is now in effect,” it says.

A doctor walking the halls admits he’s never seen a day like it.

Winners get sent home

A player limps in after his team won on the final play. The staff takes one look and turns him away.

“We don’t have room for winners,” a doctor says.

Arkansas fans know that feeling now. You win a road game in the SEC and get a pat on the back and a ride home.

Meanwhile, the beds keep filling up.

A patient gets a shot of ACC replay booth bias. Elsewhere, a replay official with an 8 a.m. tee time on his mind rules that a ball held by both the offense and the defense is a touchdown. On to triple overtime.

LSU tells the nurse it was resting its starters for the meat of the schedule. Sure.

Alabama’s chart looks grim

The defending national champion is on a stretcher, too.

Down the hall, a doctor wants to call it on a patient who can’t stomach another Pop-Tarts Bowl invite.

Alabama gets the worst of it.

The Crimson Tide just lost back-to-back regular season games for the first time since 2007. Their chart shows a 2-for-13 mark on third down and four turnovers.

“Sure reads like an obituary to me,” the doctor says.

Tennessee won’t leave the room. The staff finally shoos the Vols out so they can label Alabama a washed-up dynasty in peace.

Alabama asks about its playoff chances. The doctor puts them just ahead of its odds of winning at Neyland Stadium anytime soon.

Georgia’s No. 1 problem

Georgia’s case stumps everybody at first.

The Bulldogs had just beaten Alabama. Their scans came back clean.

Then a doctor reads the fine print. Georgia was ranked No. 1, and everybody knows how that goes.

The damage came from a South Florida transfer quarterback, who broke Georgia’s heart between the hedges.

The staff wheels the No. 1 curse off to hazmat disposal. A doctor tells Georgia to relax because it’s still tied for first in the SEC.

Tied with who? Kentucky.

Kentucky sweats while the Hogs rest

Kentucky’s problem is its heart.

A doctor holds up a normal heart rate next to a Kentucky fan’s heart rate in the fourth quarter this season. The Wildcats need a win that doesn’t come down to the wire.

At least the latest one didn’t go to overtime.

The episode closes with a moment of silence. Time of playoff death: 11:30 p.m.

Arkansas stayed out of that hospital. Nobody in Fayetteville is complaining.

A win in Nashville was never going to get noticed on a week like this one. Not with Alabama and Georgia hooked up to monitors.

The Razorbacks can live with being ignored.

Somebody had to be the patient who got cut loose.