SEC Roll Call gives Arkansas two lines and a bag to wear

Arkansas didn’t get much screen time this week.

Judging by the jokes, that was a favor.

Matt Mitchell’s SEC Roll Call for Week 5 gave the Razorbacks two quick shots. They wore a bag over their head for both.

You know the look. It’s what you put on when you don’t want anybody at the grocery store asking about Saturday.

The video starts with the host saying this is the time of year when contenders get separated from the Arkansas. He says sorry right away and tells them no offense.

The Hogs had an answer ready.

“No offense taken,” the Arkansas character said. “Also, coincidentally, no offense produced.”

I laughed. Then I thought about it for a second and quit laughing.

Hogs admit the run game isn’t there

The other Arkansas moment comes about two minutes in, when the schools start fussing about kickoff times.

One of them is mad its night game went to LSU and some teams it says aren’t on its level.

A couple of others mention they played at night too. So the gripe gets repeated, only now it covers three teams.

Somebody tells the complainer he ran right into that one.

That’s when the bag speaks up again to say running isn’t something he can do.

And that’s it for the Razorbacks. Two lines, both about an offense that can’t get going, and then back to hiding.

Everybody else got a lot more attention, most of it worse.

Bama, Vandy and a Death Star

Alabama gets teased for playing with aggression again while the office lights keep cutting out. One character says they’ve been out about five years anyway.

There’s also word the president is coming to Tuscaloosa next week, which nobody in the room seems thrilled about. The complaint is there’s enough politics in football already.

Vanderbilt was proud of itself. The Commodores scored in the first quarter against Georgia, which the sketch says nobody else had managed this season, and Diego coming home gets the credit.

Auburn gets called the dark, angsty orange. I’ll let you guess who the bright one is.

My favorite stretch had nothing to do with a team. It’s the gripe about sitting through four hours of commercials to see a little football, including the Nick Saban Home Depot spot where he makes a sandwich over and over.

Missouri is off in a corner building what looks like a Death Star and giving a villain speech about NIL, the transfer portal and certain legislative advantages.

Florida is in the worst shape of anybody. The explanation given is 35 unanswered points and no ability to run the ball.

Sound familiar?

Where that leaves Arkansas

The lights turn out to be nobody’s master plan. One guy was trying to get his hotel room under 68 degrees from his phone and had the office air conditioner instead. It’s 60 in there by the end and the reptile has stopped moving.

That’s a lot of plot for a short sketch, and Arkansas isn’t part of any of it.

These videos give the long bits to teams with something going on. The Hogs got a bag and a pun.

Neither joke was unfair, and the Arkansas character didn’t act like it was.

Maybe next week there’s a reason to take the bag off. I wouldn’t throw it away yet.