The cops kick in a door and find a body on the floor.
It’s Arkansas.
There are flies.
That’s the Razorbacks’ whole part in this week’s SEC Shorts video. A few seconds, tops.
“This body must have been here at least a month,” an officer says.
The sketch came out right after the Hogs lost another SEC road game, this one at Texas A&M.
So the timing wasn’t great. Or it was perfect, depending on how you take your jokes.
Not a suspect and not the case either
The video is a detective story. A top 10 team got beat out of nowhere and police are busting into every house in the conference to find out who did it.
Arkansas isn’t a suspect.
It’s not the victim they’re working, either.
It’s just a body in one of the houses. Nobody was looking for it and nobody acts surprised.
Somebody in that scene also says this: “Whatever it is you think you’re going through, I can assure you my life is worse.”
That could’ve come from any Razorbacks fan on the drive home.
Then the officers head for the next door.
Everybody else got a real scene
Missouri is the one the cameras keep finding.
It shows up on tape with a bat, then a shovel and a tarp, then a pair of bloody gloves.
The detectives watch the footage 10 times. “See, we have nothing,” one of them says.
Another suspect has fingerprints all over the weapon and gets cleared anyway. His alibi? He hasn’t beaten a top 10 team in 13 years.
Georgia gets accused of what happened to Florida and says it’s only been torturing that guy.
So the teams with nothing going on still got a full scene and a few lines.
The Hogs got flies.
What a real road team looks like
There’s a second case running through the sketch, and this one’s about Alabama.
It’s the fourth victim of the season. Ranked, at home and beaten by somewhere between 30 and 40 points.
An old detective gets called in because he knows the signs.
The quarterback is athletic and hurts you with his arm and his legs. The defense forced four turnovers.
Eight touchdowns, all on the other team’s home field.
“They all thought they were ready for Bama, but they all learned,” he says.
That’s what it looks like when a team goes on the road and takes over somebody’s house.
The part Hog fans already know
Arkansas went on the road and came back as part of the set.
The video ends with two fans talking about how fun the upsets have been and how nobody saw them coming.
The detective isn’t in the mood.
“You don’t see the broken fan bases they leave behind,” he says.
Hog fans see it. They’ve been living in that house for a while now.
It’s a funny sketch and a laugh doesn’t hurt after a trip like that.
Winning on the road against somebody good would help more. At the very least it would get the Razorbacks on the suspect list.
